a structural approach to fear (57:28)
I see fear as a three part entity: a spark of confusion, trapped in a coil of disbelief, guarded by three disco balls of evil. I say entity, when in truth all three parts, and the whole they form, are nothing other than us ourselves, some unaccepted part of ourselves we've jettisoned through trauma.
Trauma causes us to repress a feeling rather than processing it through the heart. This trapped feeling becomes the spark of confusion - confused because it's stuck in the past, like an inner child that doesn't mature with the rest of the mind and body. When we encounter a scenario that reminds us of the past trauma, the repressed energy vibrates with fear, believing it's still a child, rather than the more capable adult we know are. This creates a confusing dissonance in the mind, which only adds to the encounter's fearfulness.
We may sense this dynamic and try to heal the inner child. But guarded by the coiling snake of disbelief and evil's misleading mirrors, the inner child remains difficult for our minds & hearts to reach. Struggling to heal, or finally giving up, we remain like a bowl with pieces missing: we can hold liquid, but only so much, only so well, only for so long. To restore wholeness, we need to reconnect with the missing pieces trapped in our fear. This may be the greatest gift we ever give ourselves, and the most difficult & rewarding experience of our inner lives.
In this video I deep dive into this model of fear. I describe the structure in detail, discuss my experiences with fear work, provide some techniques for inner healing, and describe what I see as the end result: reunion, redemption, & the abiding sense of wholeness we've ached for all our lives.