single defining flower, or broad & adjustable bouquet? (32:50)
Here I distinguish between dis-identification and non-identification.
I use flowers as a metaphor: the mindset of dis-idenitifcation insists we must decide which single flower defines us, while the mindset of non-identification embraces our nature as a bouquet of flowers that's always subject to change. Dis-identification is a scarcity mindset, forcing us to categorize everything as good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable, us or not us. Non-identification is an abundance mindset, inviting us to appreciate the interplay of our many & diverse qualities, and encouraging an expansive and dynamic sense of self.
One pitfall is trying to overcome dis-identification by...dis-identifying from it. We say it's bad, it's wrong, it's holding us back, why is it keeping me from the wiser and more fruitful non-identification approach. In so doing, we reenforce the dis-identification paradigm - even though we're ostensibly working against dis-identification.
This highlights a subtle but prevalent pattern in energy work - how defines what, more than vice versa. We can dress up scarcity in various robes and flashy jewels, to give it the air of abundance. If we're trying to eliminate something, deny something, shove something aside, that's a scarcity mindset at work.
A wiser approach is more equanimous and unconditional. We observe our mindset, make an honest accounting of our choices, and ask - dis- or non-? Recognizing dis-, we cultive non-. Recognizing non-, we give thanks, and honor dis-. In other words, we recognize our current mindset, dis- or non-, as a flower, and we ask - do I define myself in relationship to this flower (anti or pro), or do I embrace this flower as a beauty among many in the ever-changing bouquet I am.
Our choice then reflects our mindset. A series of similar choices builds momentum. Which builds habits. Which builds traits. With time, the flowers we love most become steady fixtures in our arrangement.
Recognize, honor, repeat. Let go, let be. And don't forget to stop and enjoy the flowers : )